OOC: hemoscrib stuff oh man what am i doing

[polygraphing]

You never once in all your wildest dreams thought that you would ever be in this position. Here you are, seated in the temple amphitheater, watching a brand new dramatic play unfold right before your eyes. And while this in and of itself is not terribly shocking, what is shocking is the fact that you are seated right next to the Goddess Absolver herself.

When the Goddess had appeared that morning in the temple as you went about your duties, you thought you were lucky enough for even getting a glimpse of her during one of her legendarily rare visits. But when she declined her regular throne at the amphitheater before the customary theater performance to celebrate her presence, and instead chose to sit amongst her devotees, happening to choose the seat right next to yourself, you nearly died.

You can barely concentrate on the play you are so nervous. All your life you have prayed for a visit from the Goddess alongside the other devotees, hoped that somehow she would hear your cries for help to avoid the Doom the oracle spelled out for you when you were but a child.... And here she is, leaning forward towards the stage, elbows on her knees, hands clasped under her chin in rapt attention to the actors on the stage.

You want to talk to her, you want to talk to her so badly it hurts, but it is poor form to speak during the performance and the last thing you want to do is upset her, so you instead settle on stealing glimpses at her during the play instead. She is not tall or slim, but her face is interesting, with large eyes, thick eyebrows, a small rounded nose and a single fang extending over her lips. She is garbed in robes of deep red that match the small wings currently folded down along her back and on her wrist are ribbons of yellow and gold.

When the intermission begins, you don't even notice, not until the Goddess turns to you and raises an eyebrow.


hey kid
you know
thiz iz zome quality entertainment here
like ok i get that youre kind of in awe or whatever
and itz flatering and al
but zeriouzly thiz iz like a fukcing mazterpiece theyre performing right here


You stammer wildly, completely unable to form words, because you can't believe she actually spoke to you and, oh no, she sounded annoyed, oh no oh no oh no oh no


whoa kalm down
itz kool
im not gona hit you with wrath or anything
juzt bekauze you kant ztop looking at me
like i zaid before itz flatering


You shut your eyes tightly and just concentrate on breathing for a moment. Slowly you calm down and look at her again. She just looks vaguely amused and...... maybe a little intrigued?


ok feel beter now
wana try and talk zome wordz with me or zomething
you got a hel of a doom on you
do you feel like making a kaze to me to remove it
dont freak out again now
like ok i get that thiz iz probably a once in a lifetime zhot you got here
but juzt be kool about it ok

You almost can't believe what you're hearing, but you try to take the Goddess's advice and be calm. Slowly, as respectfully as you can, you explain how when you were small, your guardians brought you to the oracle and your doom was foretold. You tell her how your fate is and has always been to inadvertently cause the death of the one person you hold most dear in your life, and then die yourself soon after as punishment.

You explain how, because of this, you have been distant from others all your life, because the last thing you ever wanted to do was hurt anyone, let alone kill someone. You begin to sob as you confess how every time you felt even the slightest affection for anyone, you had forced yourself to stop caring, to leave them alone, to ignore them if necessary. But you know it's hopeless, because Dooms foretold by the oracle always come true, except in cases of divine intervention. And you have always hoped for said, hoped to even just glimpse the Goddess Absolver, hoped that maybe she would speak to you, and if you were tremendously lucky, hoped that she would help you.

But you are quick to add that even if she doesn't judge you worthy, just seeing her and talking to her is enough, that as far as you're concerned your prayers have been answered already. You know many other devotees have Dooms worse than yours, and you don't want to waste her time, and-

She cuts you off there with a raised finger.


wow kid you kan ztop word vomiting at me now ok
i mean zhit i am like drowning in al thoze wordz
but
alright
firzt thingz firzt
how the fukc do you know whoze doom iz worze than anyone elzez
that iz zome zubjektive ztuf right there
and frankly the only perzonz job it iz to judge doomz
iz me
zo anyone who told you their doom iz worze than yourz
who tried to invalidate your prayerz like that
iz a fukcing blazphemer and zhould leave my temple imediately
like i mean zeriouzly get the hel out


She points at the door and stares directly at one of the faces in the crowd that had gathered around you- wait, when had that happened? You suppose you were so intent on speaking to the goddess that you hadn't noticed- and the individual gasps and runs out of the room.


yeah thatz what i thought
hey zkribe dude
take down a fukcing zkripture ok
no one zhould judge each otherz doom
that iz my job
you guyz zhould juzt fokuz on zuporting each other
youre al doomed after al
the lazt thing you need iz to give each other zhit about it
zo zayeth me
noize and drought
abzolver
whatever


The scribe scribbles furiously on a scroll as she speaks, a look on his face like he almost can't believe how lucky he is to get to write a new doctrine. The other devotees look on in admiration. You are focusing on trying not to faint.


yeah ok good
now im gona go ahead and extend the zhit out of thiz intermizzion
and azk the rezt of you guyz to give me and thiz kid zome privacy ok
gota do zome godly ztuf or whatever
zo ok get out of here for a while
zhoo


She waves the rest of the devotees out, most of which look unbelievably jealous of you. Eventually, it's just you and the goddess in the amphitheater. She stands up and stretches out her small wings.


alright kid
i am gona let you in on a litle zekret ok
your doom iz
bazikaly the zame az mine waz


You gasp at that. How could she possibly have a doom? She's a god!


yeah wel i waznt alwayz
al uz godz uzed to be mortal
oh wait zhit waz i not zupozed to tel anyone that
eh whatever no one made me zwear i wouldnt tel
so yeah
i uzed to be mortal
and i grew up kinda like you
not leting myzelf get kloze to anyone
not leting anyone get kloze to me
but it hapened anyway
and i kouldnt handle it
and i acidentaly
cauzed the death of one of them


She pauses and looks at the ribbons on her wrist briefly.


and i realized
that i thought that what i waz doing waz gona prevent anyone from geting hurt
but it aktualy juzt kauzed it
the zame thing iz true for you
and ok the oraklez doom prediktion for you iz right
but only if you keep living thiz way
your doom iz not juzt a zimple deztiny
itz a zelf fulfiling prophecy
you diztance yourzelf from otherz bekauze you think you have to
but thiz iz what wil kauze your doom
you dont need me to heal your doom
you kan do it yourzelf
al you have to do iz ztop denying your feelingz


You're dimly aware of tears silently streaming down your face, but you're not sad. For the first time in your life, you feel as if you can breathe. You sob your thanks over and over but there's no way you can really explain what she's done for you.


aw kid youre embarasing me
kome on i waz juzt doing my job
kazez like you are a lot eazier anyway bekauze i didnt have to uze any powerz
though for the rekord
i wouldve if youd needed them
bekauze in kaze it waznt klear i totaly judged you worthy earlier
youre prety ok kid
now hey do me a favor
and go kall the rezt of thoze guyz bakc in
i wana zee what hapenz in thiz fukcing play
zhit iz bound to be good


You nod excitedly and stumble outside, babbling about how your doom has been healed and oh, she wants to see the rest of the play now. And the other devotees crowd back into the amphitheater, but you simply stumble towards the altar, collapse on the floor and laugh in joy until you pass out.